My Dearest Family,
I hope settling into school has been a smooth transition for everyone- that includes you mom! Those early morning seminary students are so lucky!
I don't even know where to begin as I try to express all of my thoughts relating to this week. Training is a beautifully overwhelming experience. In my mind, I keep comparing it to parenthood. I know I have never had complete and total responsibility for someone else before. I'm fiercely independent and training has given me a remarkable perspective on nurturing, loving, and teaching by example. I compare training to parenting because I feel no child can fully understand the burdens of their parents until they must take care of a child themselves. No trainee can fully understand the burden and responsibility of a trainer until they shoulder a trainer's workload. I'm grateful for understanding - with understanding comes gratitude, resilience, and patience. It encourages gentleness and determination to fulfill one's responsibilities to the best of one's ability. The pressure, the discouragement and the joy are all magnified in the training position and I am ever grateful I have been given the opportunity to cycle through each of these emotions.
I've had the wonderful opportunity to reflect on what type of trainer I would like to be. I think about Miao JieMei and the way she trained me. I think about one of the most fascinating books I have ever read: The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. The book presents a juxtaposition of Western and Eastern parenting styles, explaining the Eastern mentality of expressing love through instruction and very high standards. As I teach my wonderful trainee, I'm seeking to be the type of trainer I feel the Savior would be. This does not mean I do not have faults, this does not mean that I protect her so much that she will not learn all I hope she can learn, but it means that she never has any doubt in her mind that I love her and absolutely believe she will have a successful mission.
God has given us many precious miracles this week. One of our investigators is named chuan zi. She is unbelievable. I have rarely seen such extraordinary faith. I have rarely seen such hope as I have witnessed through her obedience and perserverance. Our last lesson with her was nothing short of miraculous. When we first met her, I remember her sunken eyes and exhausted manner. Her face had been devoid of peace and joy, her heart achingly heavy. However, she began reading the Book of Mormon and acceptaing every invitation we gave her. Some of the commandments were difficult for her to keep, but she perservered until she conquered all difficulties. For over a month, her husband has been fiercely opposed to her contact with the missionaries, forbidding her to accept an invitation to be baptized. She has been sneaking out to meet with us occasionally, always bringing her little daughter. Every time this little girl sees me, her face lights up and in the most beautiful, gentle, high-pitched voice she says "Deng JieMei!". I love her so much it hurts. We've seen such progress in Chuan zi's testimony and added joy in her life. The gospel is changing her and her family in extraordinary ways. Last lesson, she smiled as she told us her husband had heard the prayer of her little girl a few evenings before. The little girl had thanked God that her father had bought her dinner. After the father heard this sweet prayer, chuan zi turned to her husband and said "maybe baptism isn't so bad right?". She said he didn't respond but she knew that he was thinking about what she said. We're praying so hard for her!
We had so many miracles with contacting this week. We also were blessed with navigating through the labyrinth-like city of Jilong. We had a few times this week where I had nothing but the phonetic address of what others gave me to find homes buried in densely inhabited streets. We would take long bus rides and I would ask a few locals if they recognized the sounds I was making. God helps us find our destination every time. Unbelievable.
Trying to catch every tender mercy of the Lord in my life. What a ride!
Have a wonderful week!
Sister Barden
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