Goodness how the weeks do fly! Chris and I are
now knee-deep in our first quarters and all the stress, fun, and lapses in
household cleanliness that this stage brings. Now that we have a small collection
of experiences and patterns (the ones working for us and not working for us) I
feel I finally have some actual wisdom to impart.... so, here goes!
1.
Food: Eating out is expensive $$... Cooking meals to take to school is time
consuming... and one rubbermaid tub of leftovers only takes you so far when you
are at school from 8:30 to 6 every day. This eating conundrum has kept us on
our toes the last few weeks. One thing that has worked for us has been making
large quantities of big meals Sunday night and bagging them in portion sizes
for a few weekly lunches. Spaghetti, lasagna, stew, curry & rice etc. have
worked really well for us.... until Thursday hits and we're all out of prepared
food! As a solution, we've decided on a few very inexpensive take out places
near our house and agreed to forgo the time, stress, and extra hunger pangs for
a night or two a week. By Thursday, emotions are just a bit tenser and takeout
provides a fun, celebratory way to push us through the end of the week. Not
everyone in grad school may have enough funding for this luxury but it has been
a lifesaver for us - I mean, happy, well-fed couples are typically pleasant
ones, yes :)
2.
Cleaning: This is another question that gradually grows throughout the week as
dirty clothes hampers begin to bulge and the bed starts to be reduced to an
unrecognizable bundle of feathers and blankets as Friday approaches. What's
been working for us? Pick your battles. We've decided on a list of essentials
that need to be attended to every week and tried to let a little bit of clutter
slide on the weekdays. Chris and I are lucky because neither of us are OCD
about cleanliness but neither of us can stand being in a dirty, unkempt place
for long. This leaves us oscillating between tidy and cluttered throughout the
week as our schedules permit. Flexibility and a willingness to pick up for the
other spouse have been key in making this work without anyone feeling like they
are pulling most of the load… communication has been super important here
because sometimes I just get suddenly, tiredly emotional about another pair of
husband’s stinky socks being on the floor!? I mean, right?! This problem is
normal and real and very conquerable.
3. Time: We’re still working on this one… which
is good because I think it is the most important. I credit Chris for bending
over backwards to make me feel as if I am the most vital and lovely thing to
him in all the world… Being apart for the entire day is very made up by
snuggling at night and hearing a genuine ‘I love you’ whispered in my ear.
Quality over quantity time is the game-changer in relationships between busy
people. Another big source of joy is our
Sunday havens. We’ve both decided to not do homework on Sundays, focusing
instead on going to church, being with each other, spending time with friends
and cooking those bulk meals! It’s helped us focus harder on the other days and
relax for one 24 hr period during the week. Sunday is now my safest and
happiest day.
I hope some of these tips have been helpful! I
have more to come… including some of our funny couple failures as we work
through the 1st year of grad school..
For now, I’ll just say that this week I was scared out of the
apartment by a little mouse- yikes?! …Which Chris teased me about but I felt
perfectly justified in given my feminine instincts.. thank you very much! But
now, the apartment is mouse proof, we’re feeling like we are becoming city
veterans, and… my handsome husband can now add "mouse removal" to his long list
of marketable qualities. Happy
October!
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