The Foreigner in Her Own Country

Have you ever re-discovered old shoes before? They hide in your closet for months, maybe years….. and when you see them again, a wave of memories hits you. When you slip them on, you have a far-away familiarity with them. They still fit and they are still your shoes, but they haven’t walked your last life mile with you. … they don’t feel as if they belong to the current ‘you’. If you are like me, you don’t wear those dirty, well-used shoes again. You keep the memories, toss the shoes and grab a pair of newer ones on your way out the door.

Thus is my current life…. Although it feels that every few hours I’m re-discovering another pair of old shoes. It’s exciting, introspective, soul-searching, gratitude awakening. The ghost of the old Lauren Barden seems to whisper from 2 years ago as she fades away.

But my ‘new shoes’ are shiny…. And expensive. They have been bought with Taiwanese experiences…. And they are built to last.

….Can’t wait to break them in. Good to be home!

Never Ending Beginnings

TO: RE: Sister Lauren Barden from Taiwan - Oct. 20, 2014 

Dear Family, 

Never Ending Beginnings. 

I can't believe I'm starting my last letter....

We were blessed with a baptism this weekend. Chen Yi Ling is a young investigator who comes from a difficult family situation. She loves to pray and feels so comfortable in the love that the members share with her. In a final prayer before her baptism, she prayed that God would continue to help her learn more about His gospel and His commandments.... God worked unbelievable miracles to help her feel loved and I know He will always continue to help her. 

We were also invited to do temple tours this last Saturday. It felt incredible to be back in my old area for a day. We saw so many extraordinary miracles. RC Joshua came and felt an incredible spirit. He's more excited to go to the temple now! 
   
This week, while contacting in Yilan, we met a happy energetic woman named Q-en. She is young and is constantly smiling and laughing. She is from mainland China but is working as a translator in Thailand. She loves to travel and was finishing spending a few days traveling in Yilan.  We taught her to pray. She told us she didn't know she could pray to God personally and wanted to try. We talked about baptism and invited her to come to a temple tour in Taipei on Saturday. SHE CAME. During her tour, we discussed baptism again and showed her temple interior photographs. She gasped when she saw a Celestial Room shot. When told her only Members of the Church could enter the temple, her eyes got big "Can I be baptized today?" she asked. WOW! We told her the missionaries in Thailand would be able to teach her so she could be baptized and go to the temple. I've rarely seen anyone so excited during a temple tour my ENTIRE mission. Sister Graham and I were dizzy with happiness at her sincerity and willingness to accept every invite. She is SO READY. 

Lately, I've been thinking a lot my mission as a whole. I've been remembering kneeling on my little MTC bunk every night and asking God to change me... I remember hoping that I would have the chance to develop a little more patience,  a stronger testimony, and  a greater knowledge of the scriptures. I wanted my heart to become better. But, what I did not fully understand 19 months ago on that MTC bunk, was the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to fundamentally change us, to quicken us with the spiritual gifts of God. 

 A scripture in Ezekiel 36 describes my feelings well:
 26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I  put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
 27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

I had asked God to change my heart.... but I didn't know He had the ability to give me a whole, complete new one. On my mission, I have seen more miracles than I had ever dreamed I could see, learned more by the spirit than I ever knew I could learn, felt happier than I ever knew I could feel. God has peeled back a little of the veil that hides His nature and helped me have a glimpse of His Universes and His higher ways. I have become incredibly aware of how very, very little I truly understand... but how spectacular each one of us can become with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.   God's shared with me just a fraction of the love that He feels for the Taiwanese people and it is the most powerful thing I have ever felt before! God has been so good to me.  I know my journey of discipleship is just beginning!

Here's to never-ending beginnings. 

Love you, 
Sister Barden

RE: Sister Barden in Taiwan, Oct. 12, 2014

Family dear!

Another amazing week in Yilan. I'm always surprised at the special miracles God sends our way every single day. I was reminded that a missionary's sphere of influence is sometimes even broader than he/she realizes. There are people we need to touch that may not even be the first names always on our minds.

Let me give an example...

There is a wonderful LA we are working with who has made little to no progress for some time. Her family situation is difficult and our lessons, while full of the spirit, have not greatly influenced the results of the invites we continue to extend. We love this sister and are anxious to see her improve. This week.... something extraordinary happened. We were calling members to find someone who could help teach an investigator. No matter how many members we called, from one end of our area to the other, no one had free time. As we worked hard to think of other options, this LA sister came to mind. I thought it was strange and, aware of her lack of progression, dismissed the prompting. Over the course of several hours, the feeling came two more times. Finally, I asked Sister Graham what she thought about asking this sister to help us.....Sister Graham, being very gracious at this seemingly unusual idea... called up this sister and she accepted!  The lesson, in sum, blew our minds!  We were reading the BOM with our investigator when this LA began to share her conversion story and what the Book of Mormon meant to her. Over the course of the lesson, she was kind but bold, full of the spirit and sincere...Our jaws almost dropped open at this incredible display of her faith. The embers of her beautiful testimony seemed to spark to life and give the whole lesson a warm light...... God knew she needed the opportunity to bear her testimony... He fanned the flame of her faith in a way we did not think of on our own.

We were also blessed to find a young man who had never attended our Church before. This Sunday, he biked over 40 minutes to get to the chapel! In a country where a 15 minute drive is often considered "far", that is an incredible miracle! He is special.

This week, I've been thinking a lot about joy. How can missionaries feel SO MUCH joy!? How can we love these Taiwanese people SO MUCH!? How can the spirit give us moments everyday where we are so excited, grateful, and full we feel we could burst!? The Lord truly does allow our souls to "expand" and "sing redeeming love" in ways we had never before dreamed possible. The gospel gives us unending new horizons and panoramic views of what is possible, of what is beautiful, of what people are and may become..... It's just simply extraordinary.

Love you all,
Have a fun week!
Sister Barden

RE: Sister Barden in Taiwan - Oct. 5, 2014

Dear Family,

This week, I kept thinking about the word "magnify" and what it means to our callings and our lives. I know God has magnified the work here in Yilan, magnified Sister Graham's Chinese (She's speaking so well!), magnified our finding efforts in beautiful rice fields, magnified our members as they testify (boldly!) to those we teach. Watching things be magnified beyond our ability to move them forward helps us understand we can’t do anything without help from heaven. … And heaven can do A LOT OF THINGS!

We had unbelievable lessons with some of our Less Actives this week. One of our sisters had tears pouring down her cheeks by the end of our lesson. "I just feel so much love from you sisters. You give me such hope and faith". She is excited to attend Conference next week. We ran into another less active sister as she waited for a bus. We've met with her for many weeks trying to help her and her children come to church. Sister Graham and I have often felt she had some concern that she still had not shared with us. Answering a prompting led us to where she stood, alone and waiting. Surprisingly enough, she began telling us her real concerns, explaining that she was beginning to feel that she didn't need to attend Church to have a relationship with God. At that moment, 3 Nephi 18:12 came to mind. The sacrament is a commandment! The spirit led a bold and loving conversation that concluded with her also expressing excitement at being able to take her children to Conference next week. WOW! Magnified.

We've seen incredible miracles with our investigators too! We felt prompted to pick members to help us teach who had specific experiences that related to our investigators. One particular lesson resulted in our investigator, a father, looking intently at a mother in our ward who testified about how the gospel and young men's program has blessed her son's life. She shared that the church had changed her relationship with her son and that he now knows he can pray to God for anything he needs. Our investigator resolved to more intensely investigate the church from that moment on! She was magnified!

Stunned at the blessings! In the Topical Guide, 'magnified' is also described as "exalt, glorify, praise". I know as we magnify our responsibilities to the best of our ability, the Lord will glorify our callings. I know that as we participate in the work of the Kingdom, all our abilities will be lifted to new heights, all our efforts will be redoubled, and miracles will come.

Have an incredible week! I'm excited to see Conference this weekend!

Love,
Sister Barden