Redemption

We all need to be redeemed. We’ve all felt undeserving and full of fault at some point in mortality, and if we haven’t, we will… That is the nature of life. Falling down is the way we learn how to walk, slipping up is the way we learn how to say we are sorry….. forgiving and forgetting and loving and improving are born from the unhewn roughness with which we approach life in our youth….a roughness that is only smoothed and shaved away with time and a sharpened sensitivity to what roughness is and how we may remove it from ourselves.

Today, I studied a powerful portrait of the reality of redemption- and it was sweet, all-consuming, and bright as the golden lights that illuminated one of the loveliest weddings I have ever attended. Small and perfect, an intimate group of us watched a bride, a groom, and the bride’s 10-month old son come together and make vows… what we believe are promises with God, to love and care for each other forever. The faces of those in the room told volumes… a father who tried to support his daughter as she delivered a child while young and alone, a sister who had carried so many complex questions about the world and witnessed the difficult journey of her elder sibling, a groom who had waited long and through personal medical challenges to find the love of his life, the bride who had overcome heartache, loneliness, and the fear of the uncertainty that she wouldn’t find someone who loved her and her son the way she dreamed. In that moment, as the couple looked into each other’s wet, happy eyes and their little son smiled in their arms, I watched as so many hearts in the room dumped a thousand pounds of former pain, uncertainty, and discouragement into the past and left it behind forever. It was genuinely one of the most raw and precious emotional experiences I have ever witnessed.  

As the little boy finished off the statement of the promises with unrestrained and innocent “amen, amen, amen…”, I could almost feel every heart in the room bursting with the same cacophony of agreement, repeating to themselves an endless stream of silent “amens”.

This family was perfect, new, whole, and free of the challenges they had conquered. With all the turbulent news and tragedies that face us and our neighbors in daily life, this was a moment where it felt the world stood still, breathed deeply, and told me to believe better in God and the reality of redemption.  

There is nothing so broken or so helpless that it cannot be made right again with God – I know it. I’ve felt it. I’ve seen it.

Campus Beauty - School Day Snaps

Quarter 1 - A Smattering of thoughts

Goodness how the weeks do fly! Chris and I are now knee-deep in our first quarters and all the stress, fun, and lapses in household cleanliness that this stage brings. Now that we have a small collection of experiences and patterns (the ones working for us and not working for us) I feel I finally have some actual wisdom to impart.... so, here goes! 

1. Food: Eating out is expensive $$... Cooking meals to take to school is time consuming... and one rubbermaid tub of leftovers only takes you so far when you are at school from 8:30 to 6 every day. This eating conundrum has kept us on our toes the last few weeks. One thing that has worked for us has been making large quantities of big meals Sunday night and bagging them in portion sizes for a few weekly lunches. Spaghetti, lasagna, stew, curry & rice etc. have worked really well for us.... until Thursday hits and we're all out of prepared food! As a solution, we've decided on a few very inexpensive take out places near our house and agreed to forgo the time, stress, and extra hunger pangs for a night or two a week. By Thursday, emotions are just a bit tenser and takeout provides a fun, celebratory way to push us through the end of the week. Not everyone in grad school may have enough funding for this luxury but it has been a lifesaver for us - I mean, happy, well-fed couples are typically pleasant ones, yes :) 

2. Cleaning: This is another question that gradually grows throughout the week as dirty clothes hampers begin to bulge and the bed starts to be reduced to an unrecognizable bundle of feathers and blankets as Friday approaches. What's been working for us? Pick your battles. We've decided on a list of essentials that need to be attended to every week and tried to let a little bit of clutter slide on the weekdays. Chris and I are lucky because neither of us are OCD about cleanliness but neither of us can stand being in a dirty, unkempt place for long. This leaves us oscillating between tidy and cluttered throughout the week as our schedules permit. Flexibility and a willingness to pick up for the other spouse have been key in making this work without anyone feeling like they are pulling most of the load… communication has been super important here because sometimes I just get suddenly, tiredly emotional about another pair of husband’s stinky socks being on the floor!? I mean, right?! This problem is normal and real and very conquerable.

3. Time: We’re still working on this one… which is good because I think it is the most important. I credit Chris for bending over backwards to make me feel as if I am the most vital and lovely thing to him in all the world… Being apart for the entire day is very made up by snuggling at night and hearing a genuine ‘I love you’ whispered in my ear. Quality over quantity time is the game-changer in relationships between busy people.  Another big source of joy is our Sunday havens. We’ve both decided to not do homework on Sundays, focusing instead on going to church, being with each other, spending time with friends and cooking those bulk meals! It’s helped us focus harder on the other days and relax for one 24 hr period during the week. Sunday is now my safest and happiest day.

I hope some of these tips have been helpful! I have more to come… including some of our funny couple failures as we work through the 1^st year of grad school..

For now, I’ll just say that this week I was scared out of the apartment by a little mouse- yikes?! …Which Chris teased me about but I felt perfectly justified in given my feminine instincts.. thank you very much! But now, the apartment is mouse proof, we’re feeling like we are becoming city veterans, and… my handsome husband can now add "mouse removal" to his long list of marketable qualities.  Happy October!